i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
