I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
