We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize