I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
