Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize