last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
