Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Found your dick twin last night
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize