he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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