WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
