i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
