my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Vodka?
Forever.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
