so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
