But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
