dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize