We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
