I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
3 2 1 whiskey
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
