I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I need water and some morals
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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