Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize