Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
