i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
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