God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
