remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
