i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
