The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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