How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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