that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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