well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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