Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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