yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Fuck appropriateness.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
