I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
