Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Naked. naked and bneed help.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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