I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
