Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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