Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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