turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
