you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
