Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
So. Much. Porn.
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