i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
