found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
