we have officially lost it.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
