gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
