Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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