So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
do nipples grow back?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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