Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
