I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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