I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
