i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
All the doctor said was why
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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