dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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