Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
then he tried to convert me to islam
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
