I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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