No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
