called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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