Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
