Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize