i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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