That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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