It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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