I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
