How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize