I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
someone owes me an orgasm
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
