is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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