Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
My ATM looks so different sober.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
