Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
