There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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