I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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