He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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