That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
