Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
there is glitter all over my balls
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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