thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
