you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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