So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
