And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
