its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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