Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
